I see London, I see France, I can see your underpants....AGAIN!

As of tomorrow, it will be three months since I posted my last blog. It seems that I have all but abandoned my role as the blonde blogette; but, truth be told, it has simply been a busy summer. This evening, I am out-sourcing my services on the late shift, so I have ample time to catch you up on the latest and greatest news of the sunshine season.

One of the highlights of my summer has to do with my favorite holiday, Fourth of July, and my favorite pair of polka-dot underwear from Victoria's Secret. Underwear seems to be a pretty popular and laughable theme of my adventures, so it is deemed appropriate to share this story with you. Far be it for me to determine what one may find sexy; however I think I jumped to the waayyyyy other end of the spectrum with my granny panties debacle.

Pat's Aunt and Uncle host an annual Fourth of July party that brings together his own extended family, as well other's who are related on the other side. This was my first time attending the much talked about soiree and I was looking forward to seeing my newly married-in famly, as well as meeting the others. In total, I believe 35-ish people were invited.

I didn't think too much into my outfit for the day other than comfort and breathable alleviation from the heat! So, I wore an average white ribbed tank top paired with a navy blue cotton skirt. Very basic yet understatedly holiday-appropriate.

The party was a great time, but the heat was pretty intense so I spent the majority of the time following my very pregnant and very hot sister-in-law around like a lost puppy. I had lost my husband to a grueling volleyball game and the two cocktails that I had drained to ward of "dehydration," instead left a headache probing my left temple, so I sought refuge in the air conditioning (which by coincidence was also closer to the margarita machine). Danielle (that's the very pregnant and very hot sister-in-law) was pretty miserable so we sat inside where she could be more comfortable. I was enjoying bossing her around by making her move to the darker portion of the living room when she decided that she couldn't take it and ran off to the bathroom to lose her lunch. Like any lost puppy, I began to wander around aimlessly. I went upstairs, grazed the food, chatted up a fellow-partier and excused myself to the restroom.

When I returned, the interior of the home was deserted. I went back outside to join the party and stood in a cluster of my new family. I was chatting with Danielle, her husband Mo, and my parents-in-law. There was talk about the party winding down and the dispersing of families to their own dwellings, so my mother-in-law went off to start saying goodbye. Danielle and Mo wandered away as well, leaving my father-in-law and myself watching the volleyball game with our backs to the rest of the party. My father-in-law spotted my mother-in-law's shoes and holds them up to let her know he has them. All of the sudden I hear someone running up behind me. I glance over my shoulder and my mother-in-law is headed full speed at us. I kind of laugh and think to myself that these must really be her favorite shoes, or that her pedicure is suddenly at risk if she is warranting speeds that could challenge a cheetah.

As I turn back around to face the volleyball game, my mother-in-law fakes left and instead of scooping up her sandals she is pulling on my skirt! Um, excuuuuse me? I realize that I am newer to the family and some initiation may be due, but is depantsing me in front of family, strangers, and God really necessary? I spin around with what I imagine to be a horrified look on my face to see her expression mirroring my own. Then she lets the bomb drop. She alarmingly whispers, "Your skirt was tucked into your underwear!" I am shocked speechless. Um, Victoria obviously can't keep a damn secret if she is flashing my polka-dot pseudo granny panties to everyone at this party! Granted, they were bikini underwear, not true to form granny panties, but at this point we are just comparing apples to oranges.

I recover slightly and march directly over to Danielle. If you know anything about my newly-appointed older sister, you know that she wouldn't hesitate to point out my faux pas so I was shocked that I stood next to her for 15 minutes without a peep. I approach her and vehemently say, "I absolutely cannot believe that you didn't tell me that my skirt was tucked into my underwear after I had just you about the leftover vomit in your hair." It turns out, she hadn't seen. As many of the other party-goers hadn't also. I'm not sure why my humility was spared that day, but it turns out the only person that did see, was Mo. He is very conservative and he was embarrassed on my behalf and so instead of calling attention to it, he just walked away. Thanks. A. Lot.

Surprisingly, I wasn't all that embarrassed by the situation. I laughed a lot. But that is probably because it seems as though no one accepted their invitation to my peep show.

I wanted to make a good impression, and instead I made a lasting impression...welcome to the family, Ash!