Okay, breathe deeply. Let your feet find their balance, blink twice and look again.
Yes! I'm not trying to cause heart attacks, knock people out of their chairs, or make them think they're seeing double. But, YES. I'm writing again, one day later.
Excited to see me? Thought so.
I was sitting on my couch trying to drown out the Neelys on Food Network (save your sugar for another time, Big Daddy!) and I decided that it was imperative for me to talk about a recent law passed in Illinois.
Now, I'm fairly impassive about politics as a whole. I'm not going to pound the pavement for my favorite candidate in the next campaign, and I skip past the slew of channels featuring Bill Maher or Anne Coulter. (Side note, however: having been a journalism major, I was forced to read a lot of Ms. Coulter and I find her repulsive...just saying). My only passions lie in the ability to choose for yourself. You do what you want with your body and you do it with whomever you so choose. The end.
A recent law that has affected me though, is this new "No Texting While Driving Bullshit." That is the full official name for the law. Anyone that knows me knows that my average of 5,200 text messages a month are only possible with an inherent skill that I possess for fast, focused, eyes-free text messaging. I'm that good. I understand the reasoning behind passing the law, and I agree, safety first. I am not in favor of causing accidents, but I'm still perplexed on how to get my "must-know-NOW," messages across to my friends. I tried mind-control, but only ended up looking constipated. I tried smoke signals, but apparently you have to have a permit for such things in the suburbs; and, as of this moment, my pigeon has yet to reach it's destination. And no, I can't just call. That's silly. :)
I think some greater power named, God, from up above, knew that I was going to struggle with this. He realized that if a ticket is to be had, Ashley will have it. For example, right turns on red. For my readers that are not within a 60-mile proximity, Chicagoland thought it would be funny to install cameras at red lights. If you do not stop completely, you will get a letter sent to you via snail mail with an invitation to view a website; once there, you will be offered a slew of pictures and a video showing your incompetence. Along with that, adding insult to injury, a $100 ticket. BEWARE. Anyway, back to my point....tickets find me. So, it could only be Divine intervention that I have suddenly "upgraded," my cell phone to a Blackberry. Sure, it costs more money monthly but it is saving me from getting a ticket for texting while driving because I can hardly control the thing and have never succumbed to so many typos in my life. I think my friend Gigi (age 3) has a better chance of authoring a coherent message.
In the grand scheme of things, I do favor the law if it will save lives. I will do my best my abide by the new rules of the road; but, perhaps this offer for paying better attention while driving should be extended to women who apply makeup behind the wheel, people eating their breakfast during the commute to work, or the man next to me in traffic reading his newpaper.
Now, the true test. I am about to embark in a 24 hour journey to Mahomet. It is 2.5 hours each way and normally, I am vigorously spouting off my most random-thoughts to whomever will answer me, but today....I will keep my phone in the cup holder. My eyes will dodge quickly from phone to road, desparate to pick it up and type. But, I will try not to give into the temptation.
Can I do it?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Spare Tires, Pilgrims, and Politics....
In celebration of the New Year, my college girl friends and I each compiled a list of goals for 2010. Our number of goals was to be set at our age for that year and they could be small or vast goals, depending on what we wanted to individually achieve. We then, electronically submitted our goals to one another as both a support system and an opportunity to be held accountable.
Well, #15 on my list was: "write a new blog post atleast once a week and not let that hobby fall to the wayside." Bwhahahaa!! So far, 22 days into the new year, I am well over a month tardy. My husband felt as though his suggestions were falling on deaf ears (he was right, I was well-intentioned, but not following through), SO he took it upon himself to email me.
*DING* *DING* says my (new and yet undecided on how much I like it) Blackberry. Email. From: Husbandido Barrett. I was puzzled. I just talked to him on the phone, what does he need now? Why email? I opened it and felt a strong urge to laugh out loud. He thought email was the best way to get my attention and to encourage me to get online and write a blog, because he predicted that soon I would have no followers. Almost instanteously, I get another alert via the fruity phone to alert me that my sister-in-law has written on my facebook wall, also in demand of my inner-most thoughts.
I have to say, that I am flattered. I have a quaint literary following and I must supply the demand. So far, I have not kept good on any of my promises for a more productive 2010. I have yet to get into the routine of regularly polishing my wedding ring (#19), I have not gotten a haircut in an effort to begin my year split-end free (#17), and instead of abiding by #20 of following up every criticism of a stranger with a compliment, I still proceed cackle about their muffin top peeking through their too-tight shirt. Not that I should be pointing out other people's spare tires....I have a couple of my own intertubes to deflate. However, that is the only goal that I have maintained so far. In honor of #4 and #5, I have been attending every bootcamp and eating healthy.
GO. ME. I know, I will continue after your applause cease.....
My other goals are lofty or academically related. This will be an incredibly busy year for me with school, I have a lot of progress to make in a short amount of time. But, I am pleased to announce that my third, and final, math class is going beautifully. My new nemesis is history, and indeed the inspiration for this blog. I have 1,000 pages to read, absorb, and recite by next Wednesday and I am rebelling. Actually, I've been reading for the past 4 hours and my brain is exhausted. I have to work my way from the pilgrims to today's politics, none of which interest me. But alas, I must forge ahead. If the colonists hadn't forged ahead, we wouldn't have an America in which to study for a teacher's certification online. Right? So, I must retreat back into my swirling mass of words and pay homage to the folks that gave me the opportunities I have today. Like, blogging.
Goodnight.
Well, #15 on my list was: "write a new blog post atleast once a week and not let that hobby fall to the wayside." Bwhahahaa!! So far, 22 days into the new year, I am well over a month tardy. My husband felt as though his suggestions were falling on deaf ears (he was right, I was well-intentioned, but not following through), SO he took it upon himself to email me.
*DING* *DING* says my (new and yet undecided on how much I like it) Blackberry. Email. From: Husbandido Barrett. I was puzzled. I just talked to him on the phone, what does he need now? Why email? I opened it and felt a strong urge to laugh out loud. He thought email was the best way to get my attention and to encourage me to get online and write a blog, because he predicted that soon I would have no followers. Almost instanteously, I get another alert via the fruity phone to alert me that my sister-in-law has written on my facebook wall, also in demand of my inner-most thoughts.
I have to say, that I am flattered. I have a quaint literary following and I must supply the demand. So far, I have not kept good on any of my promises for a more productive 2010. I have yet to get into the routine of regularly polishing my wedding ring (#19), I have not gotten a haircut in an effort to begin my year split-end free (#17), and instead of abiding by #20 of following up every criticism of a stranger with a compliment, I still proceed cackle about their muffin top peeking through their too-tight shirt. Not that I should be pointing out other people's spare tires....I have a couple of my own intertubes to deflate. However, that is the only goal that I have maintained so far. In honor of #4 and #5, I have been attending every bootcamp and eating healthy.
GO. ME. I know, I will continue after your applause cease.....
My other goals are lofty or academically related. This will be an incredibly busy year for me with school, I have a lot of progress to make in a short amount of time. But, I am pleased to announce that my third, and final, math class is going beautifully. My new nemesis is history, and indeed the inspiration for this blog. I have 1,000 pages to read, absorb, and recite by next Wednesday and I am rebelling. Actually, I've been reading for the past 4 hours and my brain is exhausted. I have to work my way from the pilgrims to today's politics, none of which interest me. But alas, I must forge ahead. If the colonists hadn't forged ahead, we wouldn't have an America in which to study for a teacher's certification online. Right? So, I must retreat back into my swirling mass of words and pay homage to the folks that gave me the opportunities I have today. Like, blogging.
Goodnight.
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