Texting While Driving

Okay, breathe deeply. Let your feet find their balance, blink twice and look again.

Yes! I'm not trying to cause heart attacks, knock people out of their chairs, or make them think they're seeing double. But, YES. I'm writing again, one day later.

Excited to see me? Thought so.

I was sitting on my couch trying to drown out the Neelys on Food Network (save your sugar for another time, Big Daddy!) and I decided that it was imperative for me to talk about a recent law passed in Illinois.

Now, I'm fairly impassive about politics as a whole. I'm not going to pound the pavement for my favorite candidate in the next campaign, and I skip past the slew of channels featuring Bill Maher or Anne Coulter. (Side note, however: having been a journalism major, I was forced to read a lot of Ms. Coulter and I find her repulsive...just saying). My only passions lie in the ability to choose for yourself. You do what you want with your body and you do it with whomever you so choose. The end.

A recent law that has affected me though, is this new "No Texting While Driving Bullshit." That is the full official name for the law. Anyone that knows me knows that my average of 5,200 text messages a month are only possible with an inherent skill that I possess for fast, focused, eyes-free text messaging. I'm that good. I understand the reasoning behind passing the law, and I agree, safety first. I am not in favor of causing accidents, but I'm still perplexed on how to get my "must-know-NOW," messages across to my friends. I tried mind-control, but only ended up looking constipated. I tried smoke signals, but apparently you have to have a permit for such things in the suburbs; and, as of this moment, my pigeon has yet to reach it's destination. And no, I can't just call. That's silly. :)

I think some greater power named, God, from up above, knew that I was going to struggle with this. He realized that if a ticket is to be had, Ashley will have it. For example, right turns on red. For my readers that are not within a 60-mile proximity, Chicagoland thought it would be funny to install cameras at red lights. If you do not stop completely, you will get a letter sent to you via snail mail with an invitation to view a website; once there, you will be offered a slew of pictures and a video showing your incompetence. Along with that, adding insult to injury, a $100 ticket. BEWARE. Anyway, back to my point....tickets find me. So, it could only be Divine intervention that I have suddenly "upgraded," my cell phone to a Blackberry. Sure, it costs more money monthly but it is saving me from getting a ticket for texting while driving because I can hardly control the thing and have never succumbed to so many typos in my life. I think my friend Gigi (age 3) has a better chance of authoring a coherent message.

In the grand scheme of things, I do favor the law if it will save lives. I will do my best my abide by the new rules of the road; but, perhaps this offer for paying better attention while driving should be extended to women who apply makeup behind the wheel, people eating their breakfast during the commute to work, or the man next to me in traffic reading his newpaper.

Now, the true test. I am about to embark in a 24 hour journey to Mahomet. It is 2.5 hours each way and normally, I am vigorously spouting off my most random-thoughts to whomever will answer me, but today....I will keep my phone in the cup holder. My eyes will dodge quickly from phone to road, desparate to pick it up and type. But, I will try not to give into the temptation.

Can I do it?