MATH

I fully intended to be asleep right now. But alas, I am not. In fact, last night I experienced the same problem. I went to bed at 8:30, watched tv briefly, and snuggled into my marshmellow-esque bed.

Normally, this is one of my favorite places to relax. The top is surrounded with a crown of pillows, varying in density; my down comforter can easily be compared to an over-sized poofy cloud, albeit camel colored not snowy white. It usually greets its visitors with a tempting invitation to jump in and be swallowed whole into the depths of it's comfort.

Tonight, not so much. Even with the subtle hum of my humidifier and the heat set at 64 degrees, I can't seem to snuggle in and find my nook. It could partially be because its missing my husband's warmth next to me. Needless to say, whatever it is, even my snowflake pajama pants aren't compensating for whatever is preventing me from cashing-in my first class ticket to dreamland.

C'est la vie. Instead, I will write. I took a math test today, perhaps my sleeplessness can be chalked up to anxiety. Last night's explanation was nerves and tonight's is anticipation. Generally, I am terrible at math. I tend to favor the other side of my brain and excel in subjects such as reading and writing. When it comes to numbers, my brain shuts down. It doesn't even want to try to learn, it doesn't feign the slightest bit of interest.

So, I did what I knew would make me successful in college: I avoided math. I took the one lone class that was required for graduation and then I dodged the math bullet for the remaining three years with matrix-style skills. I happily accepted my diploma for a Bachelor's of ARTS, shook the dean's hand and high-tailed it off to my ready and waiting job, in marketing.

The marketing job wasn't quite the "sunset," that I was hoping to head for, so 3 years later, I find myself back in school. I am in an online program to earn a certification in teaching elementary school (K-8). This time though, my opponent has out-witted me. It turns out that mathless-road had come to an end. Actually, it was even worse than that; my first THREE classes in my certification are math. Not just one, but three. Now, that is some type of Divine joke if you ask me!

So, that brings us to today. My first math class is complete. I passed the test on the first attempt and actually, did rather well. I'm now on the verge of completing my second math class, statistics. I did exceptionally well on the pre-test and thus, strutted my way into today's exam with a new found confidence. I slapped my drivers license on the counter as proof of identification and prepared to rock the socks off Form A of my quantitive literacy exam.

Then, the proctor drops a bomb. I am unable to enroll today as an examanee (sp?) because my name on my i.d. doesn't match the name in which I registered for the test. I silently offered to anonomsly donate a lasik procedure to the decrepid woman who was obviously blind. "See," I said: "Right there, J-E-N-S-E-N." True, it was sandwiched between Ashley & Barrett, leaning on a hyphen, but it was still there. Not to mention, last time I tested at this prometric site, this same woman told me that as long as the name Ashley Jensen was present somewhere, it was fine. Not today.

So, in a combination of rage and fighting-back frustrated tears, I drove back to my house to retrieve my marriage license. It was a 30-minute trip each way, in the snow. I think that is comparable to walking to school uphill, in the snow, barefoot....but, I digress. I arrive back into Chris's presence and present her with my marriage license, my driver's license, and my passport. They are all indications of who I was, who I am, and the piece of paper that bridges them together. Anyway, about 1.5 hours after my journey, began, it was over. My test, all 27 questions of it, was breezed through in twenty minutes. I was allotted one hour, but even with having checked over each answer twice, I was finished. I submitted my exam, signed out, and went on my way.

I should mention that, on my way to the exam, I was quizzing myself in my head. But after I lost interest in that, I decided to play a game with myself. I mentally decided, if my favorite song, of the moment ,came on the radio before I got to my exam, then everything would go smoothly and I would pass. As I grew nearer and nearer (both on trip A and trip B) I begin to panic and switch between the stations feveriously. Owl City refused to flutter any Fireflies through my speakers. Nonetheless, I arrived and I conquered (I hope!).

After the exam, I "treated," myself with a trip to the mall to finish the last of my Christmas shopping. On my way to the mall, what should grace the radio air-waves but my favorite song, of the moment. I contemplated this momentarily, trying to decide what it could mean and desperately trying to read into it and take it was a good sign. Regardless, the mall turned out to be a nightmare and I quickly forgot about clinging to the notion of a newbie crooner band having anything to do with my mathmatical destiny.

I ended up purchasing nothing and chose to retreat home into the comfort and coziness of my house. I came home and made dinner then decided to watch a movie. I paused the movie 6 times within the first 20 minutes to log-in and check the score on my math test. It wasn't, and still isn't, posted.

Eventually, I gave up and went to bed, reveling in the opportunity to get more than my fair share of 8 hours and hit my REM. But when I closed my eyes, all I could see were the words PASSED and NOT PASSED passing rapidly through my brain. Did I or didn't I? I need to know.

I am pathetically insomniatic (I think I made that one up!)..... although, the inspiration to write a blog surfaced and so I am sitting in my dark living room typing away to no one in particular.

Or maybe, its just an excuse to check. just. one. more. time.